Cake - Now that'as all I can think about!

I think that perhaps you have some beautiful insight about the whole wedding issue, not just for yourself, but for all of us mortals.

Do we hate weddings because we don't get to chose the menu, or worse, get married? Hmmm... that's cake for thought.

What struck me as horrifying (yeah, I mean that, too) about the wedding pics was how graphic they were. Seriously, why don't they just sell weddings pictures of themselves amidst fornication? Can you seriously call them wedding pictures if they don't portray the wedding or later reception? Is the wedding night part of the wedding? If so, why do most people refrain from havings guests for that, too?

Anyways, I feel this is becoming a closed loop of thought.

I had a great time yesterday that reminded me about the beauties of having an actual life. My friends from high school and I had lunch together at one of their houses. Jose (the really cute guy Kate is after) is really funny, and all the other guys are cute and funny too.

Sigh, I think I have just been working too much lately. My purpose for the new year is to have more time and make better use of my free time (=more social life). With Leo out of town, I've just become like this bored being, and I'm tired of it.

I also realize the risks of having more fun, as it might doom my relationship with Leo, but it's just something I have to do for myself.

I have been talking to him very (excruciatingly) honestly in the past weeks and days, and he's completely aware of what I'm going through. He says I'm the woman of his life and I think he believes that even if I break up with him now, he'll get me back sometime. Of course, I don't know what will happen, but it's painful to hear him talk like that, as I'm aware that if I break up with him, I won't probably be thinking about getting back (although, who knows?).

He's coming to see me today, so we'll have to see what happens.

To just voice the problem openly, once again: I think this relationship is past its prime and due to the disappointments I've had in it I'm no longer in love with him. Can I fall back in? Do I want to? I'm not sure.

I'll keep you posted. Love.